Introduction

Have you ever watched a movie in a foreign language, trying to understand it by the context, the facial expressions of the actors or the reactions of others? Just when you thought you knew exactly what it was about, the subtitles pop up and you realize that you were completely wrong and misinterpreted the story!

In many ways, my life before I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth was like this. I thought I understood how I felt, why I had certain thoughts, why I attracted certain types of people into my life, and why I wasn't getting everything I wanted. I believed I had it all figured out and was living my life based on what I thought was the truth.

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But how far from it I was!

Indeed, as I began the search for the "subtitles" of my own story, I discovered that I had actually no clue how the human mind works or how we can manifest what we want in life. I also realized that I had the power to write my own subtitles and change the story of my life.

Today, I want to share what I have learned with you so that you can begin to shift your perspective and realize that there is another way to interpret your life story. You don't have to live the life that others have written for you.

That's why I created the "Key Concepts Series." In this series, I will share my knowledge of the tools, strategies, and concepts that have enabled me to become the creator of my own life.

The first concept I want to introduce is the "shadow self". This is such a powerful topic! In my learning process, it marked the beginning of my understanding that whatever your relationships are, it's never about others, but always about what they trigger in you. And whatever your life situation is, It’s never about what happens to you, but how you respond to it.

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Everything comes from within, and the more you know and embrace who you are, the more empowered you are to live an authentic and fulfilling life.

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It's time to begin your own journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth. You have the power to create your own destiny and become the author of your own life. With the right tools, strategies, and concepts, you can rewrite your life story and manifest the things you truly desire.

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Are you ready to write your own story?

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The shadow self

We all have parts of ourselves that we dislike or find undesirable and we try to hide them, even repress them, showing society only our most favorable qualities and leaving the undesirable ones concealed.

But even if we want to keep them in the shadows, these undesirable characteristics remain an integral part of our identity.

And what happens when they are brought to light? Let's find out!

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What is the shadow self

The shadow self represents all the parts of ourselves that we find difficult to accept, including certain personality traits, emotions, thoughts, behaviors and feelings. 

These traits, such as anger, resentment, jealousy and laziness, may not fit our self-image or societal expectations, causing us to repress them because they make us uncomfortable or embarrassed. Considered unacceptable, they are pushed into our shadows.

As children, we are taught to distinguish between right and wrong, which creates a dualistic self-image of the "good kid" and the "naughty guy". We learn that good behavior is rewarded with praise, while bad behavior is met with punishment.

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As we move through life and accumulate experiences, we become adept at identifying and separating the "good self" from the "bad self" in order to fit in with society's expectations and our self-image.

However, these unwanted aspects that we repress do not simply disappear; on the contrary, they remain in our subconscious, accumulate and gain influence.

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They are like the hands of the puppeteer, who hides behind the curtain of the theater and manipulates us, influencing our behavior and shaping our experiences.

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The shadow self according to Carl Jung

Carl Jung (1875-1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology and whose theories and methods have had a significant impact on modern psychology.

He believed that the human psyche was composed of various elements, including the ego, the personal unconscious and the collective unconscious. One of the important concepts he developed was the idea of the "shadow self".

According to him, all of our thoughts and feelings - whether negative or positive - if invalidated or minimized by others, can cause us to repress them and store them in our shadow, the darker part of our nature.

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"Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions". - Carl Jung

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The characteristics of our shadow self are unique to each individual and are influenced by our upbringing, environment, and cultural background. 

For example, if you were raised to be modest and discreet, your shadow self may have presumptuous or exuberant traits. 

Therefore, understanding our shadow self is essential to our personal development, as it helps us better understand our motivations and behaviors.

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How does the shadow self affect our lives?

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1. It prevents us from living an authentic and fulfilled life

The repression of our negative traits, emotions or feelings prevent us from fully loving and accepting ourselves and living an authentic life.

Indeed, how could we be truly ourselves if we deny a part of who we are?

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It can also prevent us from reaching our full potential. Especially when we suppress specific character traits like creativity, curiosity, ambition…

Indeed, how could we allow ourselves to step into everything we can really do if we consider some of our traits undesirable and we never explore them?

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Moreover the more we repress these emotions that we consider negatives, and the more they build up in our unconscious, strengthening our shadow self, making it stronger and more powerful each time we feed him with these negative energies - especially since they have been repressed since our childhood.

The strings of the puppeteer become more solid, more rigid, leaving no room for maneuver to the puppet that we are in his hands, which are now totally in our control, even though we have the illusion of free will.

These repressed emotions accumulate in our subconscious and can cause mental health issues, anxiety, and low-self esteem. When the pressure becomes too great, these emotions must be released, which can result in conflicts with those around us.

To prevent the shadow from taking over, it is important to learn how to manage our unwanted emotions in a healthy way. 

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Only by facing our fears and flaws can we become more authentic, truly grow and reach our full potential.

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2. It affects our relationships with others

Our shadow self can manifest in the way we perceive and interact with others, leading to negative outcomes.

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Projecting our issues into others

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Projection is a self-defense mechanism which involves unconsciously attributing our own negative traits to others. In other words, when we don't like something about ourselves, we point it out to others, seeing in them what we don't want to see in ourselves!

Thus, the qualities we dislike in other people are often our own hidden traits that we don't want to confront.

If we despise qualities such as arrogance, jealousy or dishonesty, it may be because these traits remind us of our own repressed qualities that we are trying to deny or ignore.

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Judging and criticizing others

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When we project our own shadow traits onto others, we may judge or criticize them for possessing those same traits. 

I was amazed to learn that we may be critical or judgmental towards others who possess a trait that we desire but don't have the courage to express. 

This means that if we're suppressing feelings of jealousy, we might project them onto someone else who's successful or has something we want, and criticize them for being arrogant or not worthy - when in reality it is our own repressed jealousy that is causing these thoughts and feelings.

If we are self-conscious about our physical appearance, we may criticize someone else who is confident in their body, thinking they are being vain or superficial. However, our judgment may come from our own insecurities about our body image.

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Benefits of overcoming our shadow-self

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The shadow self is not something to be feared or ignored. On the contrary, it can be a valuable tool for self-discovery and personal development.

And what if your shadow self was in fact your hidden magic power?

Let’s see how embracing your shadow self can improve your life and your relationships with others.

1. Improving self-confidence

When we take the conscious decision to face our inner fears, demons or insecurities, we develop a sense of empowerment, because we don't hide anymore, rather we go out into the arena to lead the fight. This mere fact can help boost our self-confidence and increase our self-esteem.

In doing so, we are acknowledging that we have the power to change our circumstances and improve our emotional well-being. By facing these challenges, we are showing ourselves that we are capable of handling difficult situations, and that we are stronger than our shadow self.

By releasing our shadow self from his cage, facing it in the arena over and over and finally taming it, we are building the inner strength to overcome our repressed traits, freeing ourselves from the control of our shadow self.

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2. Developing self-awareness 

When we are unaware of these repressed aspects of ourselves, they can continue to influence our behavior and thought patterns without our conscious knowledge. We live on autopilot, repeatedly experiencing negative outcomes that keep us stuck.

Bringing these suppressed characteristics to our awareness is the key to addressing them. In doing so, we can develop a deeper understanding of our own behavior and thought patterns.

We begin to recognize all these emotions, thought patterns, or behaviors that we have been suppressing. We can then decide to address any unhealthy or unproductive ones, making more conscious choices about how we want to live.

As our shadow self is an essential part of our psyche, we cannot achieve complete self-awareness without acknowledging it. We need to confront and integrate our shadow self into our conscious persona to gain a better understanding of ourselves and achieve wholeness and harmony in our personality. 

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"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious". - Carl Jung

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3. Handling negative emotions in a healthy way

We often try to hide or deny the aspects of our shadow self, because they may be uncomfortable, shameful, or even frightening.

By acknowledging them, we can begin to heal and process them in a more compassionate and constructive way.

When we deny or repress parts of ourselves, they can build up like pressure in a cooker until they explode in harmful ways, either damaging our relationships with others or causing internal damage to ourselves. 

When we confront our fears and insecurities with compassion and understanding, we can begin to release the negative emotions that have been holding us back, preventing them from causing harm.

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4. Building better relationships with others

When we begin to work on ourselves, we can see others for who they really are and not as we previously perceived them. They are no longer the projections of our own repressed problems, embodying what we don't like about ourselves. 

They are simply themselves and no longer serve as triggers for us.

By overcoming our biases and recognizing the positive qualities of people around us, we can make more meaningful connections with others. Instead of focusing only on their perceived shortcomings or making assumptions about their character, we become inclined to get to know them in a more authentic way.

Also, when we learn to tame our shadow self, we project less negativity onto others and become less defensive. This helps us create a more positive environment in our relationships.

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In conclusion, by embracing all the parts of ourselves that we struggle to accept or acknowledge and integrating them into our conscious awareness, we can achieve greater self-awareness, personal growth, and empathy towards others.

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Conclusion

When we accept and acknowledge our shadow self, we can gain a deeper understanding of how our thoughts and emotions affect our behavior and actions. This awareness can empower us to live our life with purpose and self-awareness, revealing our authentic self.

This self-acceptance not only improves our own well-being and mental health, but also cultivates acceptance and understanding of others just as they are. 

This transformation within ourselves inspires positive change in the world around us.

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Let me know what repressed parts of yourself you have embraced and how you manage to let your shadow self out of its cage!

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